Dear Friends and Family,
I hope this message finds you well wherever you are in the
world. My last blog was many months ago and since then I have been busy
enjoying my family, my love, and my life. I’ve been busy taking care of my boys, substitute teaching, getting
bimonthly check-ups at Duke and taking care of myself. So, it is with deep
sorrow that I must write again to inform you of some health news that I
received recently that I really was hoping not to hear.
Typing these words make the reality of this moment rather
surreal. However, I want to inform you all that I’m scheduled for brain surgery
at Duke Hospital in Durham, NC on May 1.
A little history follows…My neuro-oncologist has been monitoring me closely with MRI scans since my previous craniotomy on July 10, 2015. Up until last month my MRIs were all “clean.” Every six months he adds a screening to my visit called a PET scan. Therefore, I was scheduled for both an MRI and PET at Duke in March. The PET scan was “stone cold,” a term radiologists use to indicate that there is nothing noteworthy going on in my brain—good news. However, my MRI results were not as conclusive. There was a small, yet noticeable change since January on my MRI in the area where my original tumor was located—not such great news. With two conflicting scans he decided he’d like to see me back in six week instead of my usual eight to redo both scans. That meant heading back to Duke just a few days ago accompanied by my Uncle Wright, a well-regarded doctor himself, with the hope I’d walk away “clean” on both fronts. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.
On Tuesday, April 18 I learned that my PET was again “stone
cold,” but the MRI showed additional growth in the same area they noted in March.
This means something is likely growing in my tumor bed, but they don’t know
what it is. Cause as to why one scan reflects zero activity and the other a
change could be due to a false negative PET. A big question mark for all. And
the only way to find out is to completely remove whatever they are seeing on my
MRI with surgery. I have already met my neuro-surgeon and he feels confident I
will do well with the surgery.
Though this is not the news any of us wanted to hear, it is really important to note that my
doctor’s initial and current belief (as well as the consultation of two other
neuro-oncologists) is that this enhancement or change we are seeing on my MRIs is
NOT a brain tumor and only scar
tissue from radiation (a common occurrence), but that opinion can only
be proven if it’s surgically removed. The option to do nothing is not wise
because we are seeing a pattern of growth whatever it is. And if it is indeed a
tumor it’s better to catch it early and proceed from there.
And so, on Monday, May 1 I will have brain surgery at Duke
Hospital in Durham, NC. If all things go according to plan I’m told the week
should look something like this:
4/30 Sunday night: sleep overnight at the hospital
5/1 Monday morning: surgery; no definite time
5/2 Tuesday: recovery in the hospital
5/3-5/5 Wednesday-Friday: recovery in Durham hotel with Erin
and my Dad
5/6 Saturday: fly home to Fort Collins
It goes without saying this is an enormous weight to bear
both physically and emotionally. My body and I are pretty darn tired of being
on cancer’s rocky edge. I’m also very sad to have to go through this again,
particularly for the affect it has on my whole family. Erin is unbelievably
strong and loving and my five and nine year-old boys are so sweet and innocent.
Erin, my parents and sister are amazingly supportive and are dropping
everything to come to my aid. It stings to my core every time I think about
leaving them behind, but there’s nothing I can do except buck up and see this
through. It’s no secret that any surgery carries with it risk, so being scared
is OK, but I’m hanging on to the fact that I’ve done this before—twice in
fact-- and I’ve recovered swiftly. I have a healthy mind and outlook, and I’ll
be back at home recovering soon with an entire summer to look forward to. My dad and Erin will be with me at Duke and my
mom and sister, Nicola, will be taking care of Dean and Alex here at home in Fort Collins to
keep their routine normal. That loving support as well as yours will also help
see me through. Positive thoughts and deep breaths are already embedded in my
daily regime so it is with love and compassion that I sign off and wish you and
your families well.
Love, Sareana
FYI: Nicola will update you on this blog regarding
how I’m doing post-surgery at some point on May 1. The surgeon told me he will
likely be able to identify whether it’s a cancerous tumor or simply scar tissue directly
after surgery even though its true pathology will take several days
to determine post-operation.
This picture was taken recently on our Spring Break vacation with a visit to the Hoover Dam in Nevada. We had a great trip!
