Dear Friends and Family,
For several weeks I’ve tried to think of a good way to sign off from my blog, and I think now I know why it’s been so difficult. I viewed signing off as a metaphor for being done with cancer (or at least my treatment)—but it turns out I’m not done, not even close. Truth is, I’ll never be “done” with this disease, but thankfully over time I have learned how to cope with my reality. I’ve learned it’s OK to have a good cry when I need it and when a good laugh is all I need. A good cry might come in the days prior to my bimonthly trip to Duke when I feel so exhausted from always having to deal with cancer-related junk. A good laugh might come from Dean when he reminds me not to forget my hair as we pile into the car to go anywhere. As a bald 40-year old woman (not by choice), it’s important for me to be able to look in the mirror, take a deep breath and still smile.
For several weeks I’ve tried to think of a good way to sign off from my blog, and I think now I know why it’s been so difficult. I viewed signing off as a metaphor for being done with cancer (or at least my treatment)—but it turns out I’m not done, not even close. Truth is, I’ll never be “done” with this disease, but thankfully over time I have learned how to cope with my reality. I’ve learned it’s OK to have a good cry when I need it and when a good laugh is all I need. A good cry might come in the days prior to my bimonthly trip to Duke when I feel so exhausted from always having to deal with cancer-related junk. A good laugh might come from Dean when he reminds me not to forget my hair as we pile into the car to go anywhere. As a bald 40-year old woman (not by choice), it’s important for me to be able to look in the mirror, take a deep breath and still smile.
Cancer is a part of me, however I will never let it define
me. I have a great deal of disdain for cancer, but it can't outweigh
my love of life. Despite all of my health-related hardships, my life is good. I have so
much left to do, say, and be. Maintaining a positive attitude for my kids, my husband,
my family and especially myself, is how I get through. I try to not let my daily
thoughts get too absorbed with the “C” word. I’d much rather focus on the very
normal aspects of my busy and satisfying life: doing homework with Alex, racing
Dean to the top of the stairs at bedtime, going on a date night with Erin, planning
next summer’s family adventure, or occasionally engaging my educator mind in
the classroom as a substitute teacher. These are the essence of things that
keep my happy heart pumping.
This will be my last blog entry--for a while anyway. It’s
not that I don’t have anything left to say, but I feel it’s time to focus on
taking care of myself, both body and mind. I reluctantly erased the end date
for taking a daily chemotherapy pill from my calendar in September. I won’t
pencil in a new date because right now there isn’t one. The fact that I’m still
tolerating chemo well after 10 months and that it hasn’t significantly affected
my quality of life means that I will continue to swallow this targeted therapy
indefinitely. I’ll also still have bimonthly visits to Duke for an MRI followed
by a clinic visit with my neuro-oncologist. If there’s ever anything
significant to report, you’ll know. But for now, know that I’m doing well and
looking forward to a nice holiday season with my family.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Love,
Sareana
Best wishes to you and your family.
Love,
Sareana
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| Trail Ridge Road, RMNP August 2016 |
